I found out I have cancer—I have not told my family. We can’t afford the treatment anyway. Should I just say nothing and let nature take its course?
07.06.2025 03:23
It was very rough, but the Company bounced back, and our financing was restored. Even today, almost 40+ years, my (ex) husband still believes “I” killed his mother! In spite of what everyone told him, “She” did not kill your mother, cancer did!
My son and I were somewhere else, when I arrived home, I found the AMC (car) gone and his motorcycle parked there. He never did return back home, until around 2 something in the afternoon, his mom passed. He disappeared. No one knew where he went or where he was. Hospice finally called me because they needed the body moved (I didn’t know she had passed away yet). And it was then when I realized her daughter took her plot and coffin paperwork, which I called that Funeral Home and the Director acknowledged that xxxx had cashed it out and they were told her body was buried at the family cemetery up in TN. The problem here was this, she used a fake POA (power of attorney) to sell it!
CANCER SUCKS!
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No! She refused. She was also a Nurse who dealt with all kinds of cancer patients, male and female, and had seen the “horrors” of the end of it all, which she quit being a Nurse.
Once all the paperwork was done, the handcuff removed, and everyone’s angry with him. He immediately jumped on the motorcycle and went to the bar. His mother was in Hospice in a sound proof room. I had phoned his Aunt and Uncle that their sister was now in Hospice facility. They were furious with their nephew!
He was in handcuffs when he was inside of house. He was like “No! This cannot be!” Yes, I told him, when he was gambling the company money away in Las Vegas, the same Officer that spoke with him over the phone was there, and HE said “I told you! You refused!”
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They were also trying to find her son, he only showed up for about 1 minute and he was quickly gone, staff had reported that he was extremely drunk. He was actually brought into the facility by another motorcyclist, so he wasn’t on his motorcycle.
I had phoned the Officer and both that Officer and Hospice Director were waiting for him. We waited, and waited and waited until it was almost 4:30 PM! The Officer phoned the Dispatcher and he told him “I told him to go straight home!”
It was utterly frustrating trying to get him on the phone and get him over there at Hospice! It turned out that “he” lied to some bikers and told them stories and how he was “homeless” so they took him in to their “living quarters”, until a Officer saw his motorcycle and confronted them. The bikers threw him out (after the Officer told them leave him here and he was going to get arrangements to get him over to Hospice), and in his drunken state, he went out the back door, and immediately got on his motorcycle and disappeared.
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The Dispatcher tried everything to reach him, but he wasn’t returning the calls. So the Doctors sent the Hospice personnel to my residency, there was just no way for me “to step in” and have her moved. Her screams were scaring the neighbors, and the Nurses had to inject morphine in large amounts. The Police Department put a “black ribbon” on the door and my home was recognized as “death row” home →(terrible name, I know) so whenever someone called the Police or Fire Department, they can disregard.
My late mother in law, she didn’t tell anyone except ME, her daughter in law. She did not want to burden anyone and told me “once she reached to that level, I shall then give them the news”. The type of cancer she had was very aggressive. It pretty much killed off her ancestors.
By the time HE finally arrived home, his mother was going through 3.5 vitals a day! I was instructed to call this number (Police Officer and they will have a Hospice on call both routed to my home immediately). I told the Dispatcher to let me know ahead once he gets to the terminal, instruct him to go home immediately! He arrived back at the terminal at 11:04 AM, Friday. He was instructed to go home immediately.
Now where was the oldest sister (their niece), she was hiding (to the fact she stole her mother’s accounts and cleaned it out and broke into my home and stole my jewelry, money and other valuables). The Oldest Sister (my sister in law) was a Welfare Queen, she quit her job and expected everyone to take care of her and her daughter! Her own mother had zero confidence in her daughter, which she called her a Moocher and Free-loader (rightfully so).
When his mom screamed again, he refused to allow anyone administer morphine, the Hospice Director had to lock the box up in her trunk! The Medical Transport Vehicle once she was inside the medic there gave her morphine to quiet her down.
Then the funeral service came, and went (grave site service only), and he disappeared, leaving my son and I alone. It turned out he went to a lawyer, he filed bankruptcy, putting the Company in danger. So I removed his name off of everything including taking the checkbook away from him. He lost all the privileges to the financing!
By that time, “treatments” had progressed (this was the early 80s). They wanted her to volunteer and to accept treatment, they felt that they could whip it (due to volunteers in the past, today breast cancer can be beaten about 90% of the time if caught early). When she told me of this, she was “stage 1”. I encouraged her to go and get the treatment because it was being very successful.
Just before 4 AM, he was in a rage! He woke me up accusing me of killing his mother, just so-out of it! And he began attacking me, thankfully the Cops were there without anyone having to call and they stormed in. He was in a severe emotional turmoil! They didn’t arrest him, but instead, sent him to the Hospital to detox and be treated.
So I had to search for a place, and by this time, my (ex) husband had bankrupted our personal account, we were literally flat broke! I found a funeral home and I closed two of my long time savings account (that which I had before I met him) to pay for the plot and we still owed about $400 towards the casket.
She was the oldest sibling of her side of the family.
The paperwork had to be involved, and the Cops were instructed “not to release him until he signed everything”. With one handcuff on him, he was signing the paperwork, the Transport Vehicle arrived to move her to the Hospice nearby.
They had no choice but to tell her “We cannot treat you anymore. All we can do is put you in Hospice or if you wish, to pass away at home.” She knew me very well, and elected to “stay home”. Cancer was horrible, it impacted everything. She couldn’t think, her mind was going, and she would be in dire pain!
Because Monday was a Company closure day for Inventory and Tractor Inspections, and etc. The Company Financial Director was out of town. When he returned Wednesday, the banks were all calling him, the Company was now in the negative. It turned out that my husband drained all the bank accounts even the payroll! No one knew where he was, because he never came home!
Then come around 3 AM, the Cops were called (apparently he started a fight there and injured a couple of patrons, and disappeared) and the images showed who that person was. They decided to come to my home.
Hospice Director advised me not to go into their facility and to stay home with the baby, she was expected to be gone anytime, she was already screaming at everyone what “a disgrace” I was because I didn’t name our son after her (it’s because it’s a boy, not a girl).
My (ex) husband and I owned a very large business, and he was on the road a lot, I was running the company, plus a newborn baby, plus my mother in law. It was the “last minute” when she decided she wanted to go for treatment (chemo-therapy), the Doctors all informed me “she’s too late, we tried telling her this.” So they hesitated in treating her, and she literally begged them. So they proceeded. They had to stop once the cancer was found in her brain.
I told the Doctors, I am going to let the family know in spite she requested me not to, it’s at this point she cannot even make any decisions on her own anymore.
Yeah, he heard his mom’s screams (they wouldn’t permit him to go in yet, he was detained), and I had to inject more morphine.
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Her baby sister and her brother (oldest) touched bases with me. They understood why she told me to wait, because having this cancer just eats you alive. As for their 2nd brother, he had just passed away from the same type of cancer that she was going through.
The Doctors swung by my home, and they told me they wanted her in hospice, she had at least 2 weeks or less left to live. The problem here was this, she appointed her son to make the decision where she could wind up with her final days, and he was onward to California.
When they got the call, he actually was in Las Vegas, gambling the money away and went broke! It was a team driving, but the driver left him in LA (California) and the haul he was supposed to go to Orlando, was issued to another driver (that’s the problem with Ports, a Driver can bribe and get that load for himself/herself and move it - money talks!).
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Her last 6 days, the screams → day and night was ongoing. I had to work from my home, and they dropped a “locked box”, and all I could do was inject morphine at the dosage they told me to inject which I signed and documented everything. She was going through 2 vitals a 24 hour period.
He couldn’t just leave our truck in Las Vegas and fly back because it was one of our newest tractors! So the dispatcher was doing all he could to find loads to direct him back home. As for the Officer who tried to get him to turn his mother over, NOPE, he refused, and didn’t believe “anyone’s stories” and literally said NO, NO, NO, NO and finally yelled NO and disconnected the line!
Finally the Dispatcher called when the Hospice Director was talking with a lawyer about overriding her decision and permitting me to have her moved to Hospice and the Ranking Officer was also there. The morphine wasn’t cutting it anymore in large dosage. The Officer told the Dispatch to have him call the company and we would patch him through which he would be very aggressive and try to force him to turn his mother over immediately.
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That Officer had other stuff to do, so he assigned a Police Officer to be “on duty” at my house, the Hospice Director had to go home (she had other stuff to do as well). By the time it was almost MIDNIGHT, an Officer recognized the man (he was told of what motorcycle he was on and the image of his photos were circulated), at a bar, that he pulled up. He was drunk, and that Officer ordered him to GO HOME NOW and he refused, he was going to go for a couple of rounds. That Officer then MADE him go home (or else) and HE followed him 8 miles (yeah he was DUI alright) from there to home. Once he arrived. The Officers detained him, until their Night Shift Boss showed up and that Hospice Director.
And I told the family, now my (ex) husband scoffed at me, he didn’t believe any of this and went back on the road for a long haul (from Miami FL to LAX (LA, California).) I told the Dispatcher to “keep him local” but he tried, the problem was he (my ex-husband) was the boss and he didn’t want to be fired! I told him only I could terminate people, if he did that then just call me. He was on the road.
It took that cancer almost 4 years to go from stage I to the final stage! She was utterly stubborn! By the time she was in the near-end last stage, she had cancer all over her body, it took over her organs, was in her spine, and just eating her away. She had to sell her long time home, and move in to our house.
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The Ranking Officer then tried to get the State Attorney to override and get a Judicial order to move her to Hospice, and the Judge said “I cannot! Because she had written that only her son could make that decision, I cannot override it.”